9th House:My Religion, My Pain

For all you know, our wounds and our pain control us more that we realized. It is our desire to stop the pain that we try to keep going in our lives. I envy those people who seem to have their wounds invincible from the prying eyes. Theirs isn’t obvious. Mine is. The truth is I don’t care about religion or saints or those dogmas that I grew up knowing, through the society and culture I've lived in. All I care about is to find a cure for my pain, period. I used to run to the man on the cross but I got tired of running to the cross. I face my pain and deal with it. Only then I found progress.

Whoever invented religion has invented a way for people to put band aids to their pain and not entirely heal it. You cannot heal a wound by continuously putting bandages over it. You need to expose so air can dry it. Of course people will see it, they will poke their business into it. But it’s the way it is. Let’s just hope than the wound would heal faster so the only thing that is left visible is the scar of yesteryears.

When we try or escape our pain, we forget the power we have to affect change in our own lives. Worse if we became dependent so much to the escape that we forget it isn't truly healing. True healing forgets, it forgets the pain and so as the memory that caused it. That is the true nature of healing and prayer and a thought of forgiveness is not enough. It is a process that we all have to go through in order to uproot the pain. Going to church every sunday is not enough. Praying to some saints will never be enough.